Friday, January 8, 2010

Horizon Dive Boat OPINIONS PLEASEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!?

OPINIONS PLEASEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!? - horizon dive boat

I'm here, where the land meets water,
When the gentle waves caress the shore.
Was charged with each cycle of sand on my feet, not quite to my floor.
In none of the look in my eyes, but above
Directly on the horizon, lit by a sky color.
A sun in the night, of course, come back tomorrow.
Tomorrow, the sun there, and the horizon, I'm sure.
But waves of friendship, that tickle my feet - I'm not so sure.
Thanks to a new day brings a new wave and new attitudes to the sea, without age.
Sand waves could press the campaign against innocent
Or playful waves may crash before the Bank
Just a little hug, and she moved into the open sea
I am glad I think about what lives there.
What shall I find if you dive in and one with the sea
Let me say that all his secrets.
The treasures that you have, which contains the unknown.
The secret that some fear intrigues me.
The beauty that fascinates me.
Knowing that Always to be there, albeit slightly modified, comforts me.
The endless sea, impressive and dangerous to complete me.

6 comments:

Allison B said...

Bravo Bravo
Poem definitely has an incredible talent for writing more I read

I hope that helped

Allie

Nette said...

I think the message and the premise is pretty good

but ..

Writing can be improved.

Think about how you try to place a comma, and perhaps without a point for each line - and it seems easy to break, and does not flow very well.

Pinksthenewblack :D said...

Omg that's amazing!

ASiA MONiAE said...

Wow.amazing

SAM said...

thats amazing!

dance_is... said...

thattts wayyy better than me, his ahhmazing you read my last two questions about my poems. This is excellent. nothing wrong with the search.

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